Love, Appreciation, and Power Tools
Over the past few weeks I have been wondering what I am going to do to celebrate and honor the dads in my life. What do they really want? A tie? They would probably give me a resounding, "Hell, no!" Or at least that is what they would be thinking if I asked them (although some are too kind to say it out loud). Power tools? Frankly I am more likely to ask for and get crazy excited about a new power drill or a belt sander than the hubby. So it would really be getting myself a gift. Which is fine, I am not complaining - I have a few projects on my list with that miter saw's name on it. But I want him to feel celebrated, and that would be like when my kids get me Legos for my birthday. I do enjoy them, but clearly there are ulterior motives at play.
So I think about what makes Mother's Day special for me:
miter saw (wait, how did that get on there?)
What makes the dads in my life love being a dad? I asked some of them:
"Cuddles on the couch"
"When I am playing with the kids and they want it to keep going. Even if it's well past bedtime."
"Watching them learn or figure stuff out."
"I love it when I can show them Star Wars."
"I like it when I cook something and they look up at me and they say, 'That is really good!' Although that's rare. Really rare. (under his breath - that doesn't happen very often, only when I make something new, and it's really rare.)"
"Successfully getting my kids to sleep. The trying part was, well, trying. But when I was successful, it felt good."
"When they were crying for someone else and I picked them up and they calmed down. Unlikely to happen if you (mama) were in the room, but when you are gone they want me. It's really good."
"Watching the boys play soccer."
"Snow skiing when their skills exceeded the skills of their dad."
"Kids come running to me when I come home."
"When they show off an accomplishment that they are so proud of."
"When they learn something new and are excited about it."
"Watching your kids grow into beautiful adults."
"Learning from the eyes of a child."
"Making a difference as to how your children develop."
"Receiving unconditional love."
"What don't I love about being a dad really?? Even the not-so-fun parts are pretty special sometimes."
Then I asked some important women in my life what makes them appreciate their partners:
"He gets up with the kids so I can get a few minutes of extra sleep."
"He loves me unconditionally."
"He does the dishes. Like, all of them. I really never do dishes."
"He plans trips together."
"He loves his grandkids."
"He sets a good example."
"He reads, takes time to explain, supports her in her activities, teaches her about his activities, listens to her stories, plays games."
"He [takes one of the kids] on a Daddy date every Saturday to get one on one time with him and the other one [gets] one on one time with Mom."
"He takes great care of me..."
"He never complains about changing a diaper, he's not afraid to get super silly with the boys, and he makes sure I always have enough wine in the cabinet."
"He supports me and encourages me to do the work that I love. I feel cared for and nurtured and that makes me a more present mom."
Dads, I hope you felt showered with love and appreciation yesterday and everyday. Know that what you do is important and does not go unnoticed by those around you. Also know that you are probably not getting a tie from me. Or a miter saw.